Rick and Morty, Season 1

[Rick and Morty are running naked around town in an alien simulation chamber]

Morty:
Rick! [Rick pushes clothes in sewer]

Rick:
Uhp-uhp-uhp! Morty, keep your hands off your ding-dong! It's the only way we can speak freely. Look around you, Morty. Do you really think this wuh-world is real? You'd have to be an idiot not to notice all the sloppy details. Look, that guy's putting a bun between two hot dogs.

Morty:
I dunno, Rick, I mean, I've seen people do that before.

Rick:
Well, look at that old lady. She's-she's walking a cat on a leash.

Morty:
Uh, Mrs. Spencer does that all the time, Rick.

Rick:
Look, I-I-I don't want to hear about Mrs. Spencer, Morty! She's an idiot! All right, all right, there. Wh-what about that, Morty? [see an anthropomorphic Pop-Tart leaving his toaster home on his toaster car]

Morty:
Okay, okay, you got me on that one.

Rick:
Oh, really, Morty? Are you sure you haven't seen that somewhere in real life before?

Morty:
No, no, I haven't seen that. I mean, why would a Pop-Tart want to live inside a toaster, Rick? I mean, th-that would be like the scariest place for them to live. Y'know what I mean?

Rick:
You're missing the point, Morty. Why would he drive a smaller toaster with whsdkeels? I mean, does your car look like a smaller version of your house? No.

Morty:
So, why are they doing this? W-what do they want?

Rick:
Well, that would be obvious to you, Morty, if you'd been paying attention.

[an ambulance drives past Rick and Morty and stops; open back doors]

Paramedic:
We got the President of the United States in here! We need 10cc of concentrated dark matter, stat, or he'll die! [Rick shuts doors]

Morty:
Concentrated dark matter? They were asking about that in class.

Rick:
Yeah, it's a special fuel I invented to travel through space faster than anybody else. These Zigerions are always trying to scam me out of my secrets, but they made a big mistake this time, Morty. They dragged you into this. Now they're gonna pay!

Morty:
What do you— w-w-what are we gonna do?

Rick:
We're gonna scam the scammers, Morty. And we're gonna take 'em for everything they've got.