Rick and Morty, Season 1

Morty:
Geez, Rick, wh-what is this place?

Rick:
The Citadel of Ricks. It's the secret headquarters for the Council of Ricks.

Morty:
Council of Ricks?

Rick:
As you know, Morty, I've got a lot of enemies in the universe that consider my genius a threat. Galactic terrorists, a few sub-galactic dictators, most of the entire intergalactic government. Wh-wherever you find people with heads up their asses, someone wants a piece of your grandpa. And a lot of versions of me on different timelines had the same problem. So a few thousand versions of me had the [yells] INGENIOUS IDEA OF BANDING TOGETHER like a herd of cattle or a school of fish, or... those people who answer questions on Yahoo! Answers.

Morty:
Hey! What do you know? It's a cowboy version of me!

Rick:
Geez, you're easy to impress. Yeah, most timelines have a Rick, and most Ricks have a Morty. This place is a real who's who of who's you and me.

Rick Seller 1:
Turn your boring, old Morty into a... hot fashion statement... with some Morty dazzlers!

Rick Seller 2:
Hey, check this out! [presses Morty doll]

Morty Doll:
Show me the Morty!

Rick:
Dumb.

Rick Insurer:
Excuse me, sir, is your Morty insured? You know, every year, hundreds of Mortys are injured—

Rick:
Back off! Not my cup of tea, this place. I say the point of being a Rick is being a Rick.

Rick Officer:
Save your anti-Rick speech for the Council of Ricks, terror-Rick.

Rick:
Hey, save your Rick rules for the uuueh sheep-Ricks, Rick-pig.

Rick Officer:
(Bleep) me, pal.

Rick:
"(Bleep) you"? No, no, no, no, no, (Bleep) ME!