Rick and Morty, Season 2

Announcer:
It's the Opposite News with Michael Thompson!

Michael Thompson:
Hey, everybody, it's me, Michael Thompson. Today the Pope didn't get killed. He's perfectly fine, and he's on vacation in Aruba. In other opposite news...

Morty:
Hey, Rick, what's the deal with this guy? W-Why is his body, like, sloping off to the right side of the screen like that?

Rick:
I don't know, Morty. Let's see what else is on, huh? [changes channel]

Pichael Thompson:
Hey, welcome to Cooking Things. I'm Pichael Thompson.

Morty:
Hey, wait a minute, Rick! This guy's body is, like, sloping down and leaning off to screen left!

Rick:
Oh my God, and his name's Pichael!

Pichael Thompson:
I'm cooking a little bit of this, I'm gonna cook a little bit of that. Oh-ho-ho, hey! [drags conjoined Michael] Stop tugging, Michael!

Morty:
Oh my God! Siamese twins! They're-they're Siamese twins!

Michael Thompson:
You quit tugging! I-I'm in the middle of my news!

Pichael Thompson:
Oh, oh, it's always about you, isn't it? Can you believe this guy, ladies and gentlemen? He's got his own news show, he's got a normal name!

Morty:
Hey, flip back to the news!

Rick:
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Pichael Thompson:
You could tell our parents started with naming with him. [the news camera backs away, showing them in Pichael's side] It's like, "Oh, Michael." I ha— They had that one planned before they even got pregnant, I bet.

Summer:
I don't wanna be that girl, but maybe there would be less conflict if they didn't shoot their shows at the same time?

Rick:
Oh, Summer, you have no idea how much money that must save production.

Pichael Thompson:
And then they found out I was attached along for the ride and they said, "Ah, shit. Well, just fuck it, call him Pichael."

Michael Thompson:
[throws papers at Pichael's face] Fuck you, Pichael! You're a fucking piece of shit!