Robot Chicken, Season 1

Robot Chicken is a series on Adult Swim that uses stop motion animation to make small sketches based on current events, or ad-libbed situations based off of pop culture. more »

Narrator:
The year is 1966 and Walt Disney is dead! [scene cuts to Disney's dead body] The beloved cartoonist, moviemaker, and hero to the American Family, left specific instructions to be carried out upon his death.

Roy Disney:
Okay, do it.

[The doctor decapitating Walt's head with a chainsaw]

Man:
Did he really said this should be done with a chainsaw?

Roy Disney:
[punches the man] Never question him!

Narrator:
The public would never know what mad experiments took place under the Matterhorn that day!

[The scientists finished a robotic experiment with Walt Disney's head]

Guard 1:
Did it work?

Walt Disney:
[waking up] I...hunger.

Guard 2:
Bring in the first Cuban Child! [scientists bringing the Cuban boy, who is scared] Walt Disney must feed!

Walt Disney:
Yes. Yes!

Cuban Boy:
[crying and scared] Ayúdame! Ayúdame!

Walt Disney:
YES!!!

[The scene cuts to outside Mattel hole as the child screaming in agony was heard. Years later at Orlando, Florida]

Narrator:
As the years went by, Disney's power would grow. He demanded a Disney park be built in Florida so he could be closer to his Cuban food supply.

[We cut to the janitor cleaning the floors while whistling. Then he heard the noise and noticed the robotic Disney walking along the corridors, eating the Cuban child. The janitor freezes in terror]

Walt's Secretary:
Sir, I need your approval on these extension plans.

Walt Disney:
BUSY, EATING!!!

Guard 1:
[walks toward the janitor in a threatening way] You didn't see anything, you got that?!

Janitor:
God, help me!

[The guard kicks Janitor in the crotch as he screams in pain]

Narrator:
Walt Disney's lust for the flesh of Cuban children, was kept under control, until one fateful day...

[Fade to the living room where the robotic Walt Disney and the guards are watching the news on TV]

Dick Hertz:
The long journey of Elián González has finally come to a close. After being taken by Federal Agents from his temporary home in Miami, Little Elián has been reunited with his family in Cuba.

Walt Disney:
[reacts, negatively] Elián? ELIÁN?!

[Disney grows into a giant crushing his Secretary and Guard and destroying the park]

Gigantic Walt Disney:
ELIÁÁÁÁÁÁÁÁÁÁÁÁÁÁÁÁÁÁÁÁÁÁÁÁÁN!!! [rushes toward Cuba]

[Cuban Soldiers are alerted]

Cuban Soldier:
Andale! Andale! Arriba! Arriba!

[Disney destroys soldier flying war planes. As he reached Cuba, all the Cuban People screamed in terror]

Gigantic Walt Dianey:
ELIÁÁÁÁÁÁÁÁÁÁÁÁÁÁÁÁÁÁN!!!!!!!!! [shoots lasers on Cuban homes]

Elián González:
[walking towards Disney] Here I am.

Gigantic Walt Disney:
Elián?

Elián González:
If it will stop devastation on my beloved Cuban people, I will sacrifice myself to you.

[Disney walks to take Gonzalez]

Fidel Castro:
[pushes Elián aside] Die, American beast!!! [shoots Walt Disney in forehead and dies]

[Cuban people cheer]

Elián González:
We must always remember the sacrifices made today by the brave Cuban soldiers, whose deaths will not be known outside of Cuba thanks to the American embargo.

[Annoyed Castro shoots him dead; record scratch heard in the background]

Fidel Castro:
I love doing that!

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Submitted by wikidude on June 03, 2024

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