Robot Chicken, Season 1

[The title "Bloopers!" comes on the screen as the Bloopers Host walks in and bows]

Bloopers Host:
Is everyone ready for more of those histerical bloopers? [audience applaudes] You know, The Today Show has been a trusted source of morning news for more than 50 years! But it's not always boring. JUST WATCH!!!

[Cut to Katie Couric]

Katie Couric:
And sadly, Ling Ling the panda was destroyed by federal wildlife officials. In a related story... [Spider-Man swings in the scene and lands on the window glass, he slides down the glass] In a related story: traffic on New York City's Brooklyn Bridge was brought to a standstill today... [Tarzan is heard screaming he lands on the glass and slides off the glass] Traffic was brought to a... [gasps as an obese Al Roker in a loincloth hits the glass]

Al Roker:
[muffled] H-Hi, Katie!

[Katie waves to him. We cut back to the Bloopers Host]

Bloopers Host:
Someone get the Windex! Everyone remembers Mister Rogers' Neighborhood. But things weren't always hunky dory in the hood!

[Cut to Mister Rogers]

Mister Rogers:
Do you know what sharing is? Sometimes it's nice to sh... [touches the track and gets a static electricity shock] Ow! Peter, come over here please. [Peter walks into the scene] The train track's too close to the lake. I got a shock. Weren't we gonna solve this problem?

Peter:
I'm sorry It's...I-It's just that you know that the lake is...

Mister Rogers:
[grabs Peter and starts to drown him in the lake] We're solving the problem Peter, solving the problem, solving the problem, solving the problem, [Peter drowns and dies] and problem solved!

[Cut back to the Bloopers Host]

Bloopers Host:
Now get ready for one of the biggest bloopers of all time!

[Cut to CNN studio]

CNN Reporter 1:
This just in; CNN calls the state of Florida for Al Gore! That means that Gore has won the Presidental election! Thank you, Jesus!

CNN Reporter 2:
[laughing] We sure dodged that bullet!

[Cut back to the Bloopers Host]

Bloopers Host:
Oops! The top-rated CSI is full of twist and turns, as well as it's share of unexpected Blooper action!

[Cut to Dr. Al Robbins about to operate on a patient when snakes pop out of the patient, startling him]

Al:
[laughing] You guys! Oh, that was-that was really funny! [looks at his hand and realizes that when he was startled, he accidentally cut himself] Oh, Jesus, I-I-I [bleep]ing cut myself! [chuckles] It's really bad, it's-it's deep! [Bleep]! OW!

[Cut to two detectives at the scene of a shooting, where the victim's body is in a bag on a gurney]

Detective:
This bullet casing shouldn't be here if the shooting came from ten meters west-

Victim:
[farts, laughing] Sorry that was me!

Detective:
I'm Sorry!

Victim:
Sorry, I'm Sorry! Sorry! [farts again] Sorry about that!

[Cut back to the Bloopers Host]

Bloopers Host:
Now it's time for the amazing sports bloopers! [picks up a baseball bat] There always a home run!

[Cut to a basketball game where a guy is laughing when the basketball hits him, an old woman catches it and an old man laughs at him. Then it shows a boy, from Car Jumper, skateboarding on stairs, he then falls off the board. Then it shows two people riding their bikes, one takes out a staff and hits the girl on her bike, making her fall in the progress. Then it shows a man exercising, he hits his crotch and groans in pain. Then cuts back to the boy still falling on the steps. Then it goes to four football players, one gives the one in the front of him a wedgie, he groans. Then it shows a baseball player getting beaten by two mascots. One is a leopard while the other resembles a Teletubby with baseball bats, the leopard punches and kicks him. Then it goes to a baseball game, where one of the people falls of their seats and lands in another row. Then a kid runs with a football, and gets tackled by three football players. Then it cuts to the Hindenburg disaster with a lot of people. including Grandma Fu, running. Then a player is using a pole vault to hop over a football wire, he jumps but he screams in pain as he gets impaled by the pole vault and slides down it, killing him. We cut back to host]

Bloopers Host:
That's all for today, but come back next time for more of those cr-crazy bloopers!

[The Bloopers Host swallows a fistful of pills with whiskey; his heart stops, and slides off his chair, dead; credits roll]