Robot Chicken, Season 1
[Cut to a trailer rating screen rated "R" for Righteous. Then, cut to a plane landing in Nazareth as music that sounds similar to the music from the trailer for Kill Bill plays. Then, cut to Jesus on the cross as the Easter Bunny watches in the crowd, and angrily opens his eyes. Then, the title card appears (Kill Bunny). Then, cut to Jesus riding a motorcycle in the jumpsuit worn by The Bride in Kill Bill. Then, cut to Jesus ordering a drink at a bar. Then, cut to a black and white shot of the Easter Bunny playing the flute. Then, cut to Jesus slamming Buck's head in a door]
Jesus Christ:
Where's the bunny?! [cut to him sword-fighting, then cut to him sitting in a car] Wiggle your big toe. Great. I am Jesus, you know.
[Cut to the Jewish man with a crown on a throne pulling out a katana, then cut to Santa and his rabbi ninjas]
Santa Claus:
Yashi mana!
[The rabbi ninjas run downstairs and cornered Jesus]
Rabbi Ninja:
Hyah!
[Then Jesus fights the rabbi ninjas with his katana sword]
Rabbi Ninjas:
Oy!
[Then, cut to Jesus and the Easter Bunny sitting down together]
Jesus Christ:
Five-fingered palm of death! [attempts the move, and the Bunny lays a giant pile of eggs; to the camera] Let me try that again.
[Cut to Jesus, dodging his head from the flying axe as he continues to fight the rabbi ninjas, then cut to him sword fighting with Santa in the snow, then a trailer. Elle Driver from Kill Bill walks in and swordfights with Jesus. Jesus punches her in the eye and heals her]
Elle Driver:
[surprised] Thanks!
Jesus Christ:
It's what I do. [then cuts her in half]
[Cut to Jesus training with George Burns (God), then sword fighting. The title card comes up. Cut to the Easter Bunny and Jesus]
Easter Bunny:
You didn't think it would be that easy, did you?
Jesus Christ:
For a second there, yeah, I kind of did.
[Cut to Jesus sword fighting again, then "Coming Soon", then static as the sketch ends]
Submitted by wikidude on June 03, 2024
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"Robot Chicken, Season 1 Quotes." Quotes.net. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 14 Nov. 2024. <https://www.quotes.net/show-quote/167320>.
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