Robot Chicken, Season 3

[At high school]

Bully:
[trips over the Nerd] Blam!

Nerd:
My studies! [the bully gives him a wedgie] Oh! These are brand-new.

Bully:
[throws the Nerd into the locker] Blam! Ha! That's for...uh...Ah, nerd! [leaves]

Nerd:
[getting pulled into Narnia from the inside locker] Whoa...Oomph! [falls onto the snow, and stands up] My goodness! I've fallen into a strange and magical land. [picks up the club as Mr. Tumnus appears behind him] Well, you're no Excalibur, but then again, I'm no King Arthur.

Mr. Tumnus:
[to the Nerd] Hello, there, stranger. I'm Mr...

Nerd:
[frightened] Aah! [hits Mr. Tumnus 14 times] M-M-M-Monster! Monster! Monster, die! [finished killing Mr. Tumnus] Wow...I killed that creature. I'm a hero! Good job, Excalibur II! But I'm freezing.

White Witch:
[arrives on the sleigh] I, the White Witch, have sensed a new-Holy [bleep]!

[We see the Nerd cremated Mr. Tumnus. He turns, and sees the White Witch]

Nerd:
[gasps, and bows] My queen!

White Witch:
Oh, uh...care to come to my castle and enjoy some Turkish delight?

Nerd:
[dancing very silly] Oh, boy! My first sexual experience without a computer!

White Witch:
[like a valley girl] Turkish delight is a candy.

Nerd:
Oh, boy! Candy!

[At the White Witch's Castle as the Nerd enjoys eating Turkish delight candies]

White Witch:
And now, my champion, we will defeat my enemy, the talking lion!

Nerd:
What?! A talking lion? Pbht! You mean there's no dragons or balrogs or ringwraiths?

White Witch:
No, just a talking lion...Who's an allegory for Jesus.

Nerd:
Well, I don't know. Even a talking lion is pretty scary, and I'm not all that... [the annoyed White Witch shows him her breasts; gasps] Your wish is my command. [later seen riding the unicorn, carrying the sword] Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! This is the best larp ever!

Unicorn:
Later, I'll show you how to cross swords!

[We cut to the forest with Santa Claus and two children]

Santa Claus:
[giving them bows and arrows] And now, young children, may these guide you through your journeys.

Boy:
Why is Santa Claus giving us lethal weapons?

Santa Claus:
[sees the Nerd] There he is, children! kill him!

Nerd:
I'm on the horse! Whee!

[The girl aims at the Nerd, but accidentally shoots Santa in the back of the head, killing him. After a few moments of silence, the children steals Santa's sack and tiptoed away]

Nerd:
[riding through the valley of Narnia] Eat your heart out, "Worlds of Warcraft"!

[We cut to Aslan and the Centaur]

Aslan:
[sighs] This is why kids should read good Christian fantasy instead of "Harry Potter. "

Centaur:
You see that play with Daniel Radcliffe's penis?

Aslan:
What kind of question is that to ask the Jesus-allegory lion? [pause] But, yes.

Nerd:
[slices Alsan's head] Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! [Aslan's head slid down to the ground] 300 experience points for me! Great job, Excalibur III!

[Back at high school]

Bully:
I'm bored. Where'd I leave that nerd? [opens the wrong locker]

Daniel:
[comes out] Oh, thank you, sir. It's very tight in there.

Bully:
[pushes Daniel back into the locker] Oh, not that nerd! [hears the unicorn neighing] What the...

Nerd:
[rides out of the locker] Yeah! [slices the bully's head, killing him] Hoo-hoo!

[We cut to the principal's office]

Principal:
[angrily] You're both in big trouble!

Nerd:
[in his mind] It was worth it, my queen. [making out himself]

Principal:
I hope you know that this will go down on your permanent records!

Unicorn:
[crying] You can't tell my parents!

Principal:
Do you even go to this school?!

Unicorn:
[moves closer] Do you?!