Roseanne, Season 9

Jackie:
Roseanne! Roseanne! Where are you? I've got to tell you something!

Roseanne:
(rushing out to the living room in her bra) What? Where's my baby? What?

Jackie:
We won the lottery! This is the winning lottery ticket, I've got it right here! Remember, you told me to watch it on TV!

Roseanne:
What are you talking about?

Jackie:
We won the lottery, I can't believe it!

Roseanne:
What lottery?

Jackie:
The lottery! The Illinois State Lottery, it's the biggest one in the history of Illinois! It's 108 million dollars!

Roseanne:
You mean, you mean--

Jackie:
We're the people that picked the six winning numbers.

Roseanne:
Oh my God, so you're telling me -- (pauses while Jackie seems to be gasping for air) -- you're telling me -- (pauses again as she seems to be trying to grasp the subject) -- you're telling me that we won the Illinois State Lottery for 108 million dollars; is that what you're telling me? Is that what you're telling me??

Jackie:
Let's tell Dan!

Roseanne:
NO! Dan has just had a heart attack and this kind of thing could kill him!

Dan:
What's going on?

Roseanne:
Don't panic!!

Dan:
Why, what's wrong?

Roseanne:
Nothing, nothing is wrong.

Jackie:
Nothing is wrong. Nothing will ever be wrong again.

Roseanne:
Dan, Dan, I have something to tell you, but before I tell you, you have to promise me that you are not going to collapse or turn blue or anything like that.

Dan:
Scout's honor.

Roseanne:
WE WON THE LOTTERY!!!

Dan:
OH MY GOD!! OH MY GOD, WE WON THE LOTTERY!! OH MY GOD!!

(DJ comes down the stairs as Roseanne is riding piggy back on Dan's back, both of them with Jackie screaming raucously.)

Roseanne:
(talking to DJ) Hey, hey. Go get my shirt.