Schitt's Creek, Season 1

David:
Okay, where are we going?

Alexis:
[pause] Well [Stavros is] just coming for me, but then I figured that we would just come back and grab you guys at some point.

David:
What kind of sociopath abandons her family in some vomit soaked dump, to gallivant around the world with her dumb shipping heir loser boyfriend she's known for three months?!

Alexis:
Um, David, it will be four months next month.

David:
Oh my God!

Alexis:
And... he just told me that he could potentially see himself considering saying "I love you" at some point sometime soon, so...

David:
That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard. I'm telling mom. I'm telling mom and dad, have you told them?

Alexis:
No! No David, I'm waiting for the right opportunity, okay? Otherwise dad's gonna cry, and mom's gonna do that thing where she pretends that nothing's wrong and then just doesn't talk to me for five months, and I don't want that.