South Park, Season 10

Kyle:
Hello, my name is Brad. I need to report a crime-anonymously.

Sgt Yates:
Okay, Brad, what's the crime?

Kyle:
I attend South Park Elementary, and one of the teachers is having sex with a student.

All Policemen:
[pause for a moment, then a dramatic uproar] Oh my God! [Sgt Yates and Murphy stand near Kyle, Murphy is holding a notebook]

Sgt Yates:
You did the right thing telling the police, Brad. So who is this teacher? What is his name?

Kyle:
Well, it isn't a guy teacher, it's a woman.

Sgt Yates:
[sounding surprised] A woman? But she's ugly, right?

Kyle:
No, not really. It's the kindergarten teacher, Miss Stephenson.

Sgt Yates:
[even more surprised] The blonde?

Kyle:
Yeah.

Another policeman:
Miss Stephenson is having sex with a student?

Kyle:
Yeah.

Sgt Yates:
Nice. You're sure they've had sex?

Kyle:
Yes.

Sgt Yates:
Has she performed oral sex on him?

Kyle:
I think so.

Officers:
Nice.

Sgt Yates:
Wait, what's the crime?

Policeman:
The crime is she's not doing it with me! [policemen laugh]

Kyle:
What? He's totally underage! She's taking advantage of him!

Sgt Yates:
You're right. This is serious. We must find this kid and give him his "Luckiest Boy in America" medal right away! [policemen laugh again. Kyle screams in frustration and runs off]