South Park, Season 10

Cartman:
Okay, how long until the Nintendo Wii comes out?

Stan:
It's still three weeks.

Cartman:
Oh, God! [pause] Okay, how long is it now?

Kyle:
Will you shut up already?

Ms. Garrison:
Okay, children, it is now my job to teach you the theory of evolution.

Butters:
Oh, boy!

Ms. Garrison:
Now, I, for one, think that evolution is a bunch of bullcrap, but I'm told I have to teach it anyway. It was thought up by Charles Darwin and it goes something like this. In the beginning we were all fish, okay, swimming around in the water. And then one day a couple of fish had a retard baby, and the retard baby was different, so it got to live. So retard fish goes on to make more retard babies, and then one day a retard baby fish crawled out of the ocean with its mutant fish hands, and it had buttsex with a squirrel or something, and made this...retard frog-squirrel, and then that had a retard baby which was a monkey-fish-frog, and then this monkey-fish-frog had butt-sex with that monkey, that monkey had a mutant retard baby that screwed another monkey, and that made you. So there you go. You're the retarded offspring of five monkeys having butt-sex with a fish-squirrel. Congratulations!

Cartman:
Arrrghh! I can't take it anymore! [runs of screaming]

Ms. Garrison:
Yeah, you see? I knew that would happen.