SpongeBob SquarePants, Season 3

Mr. Krabs:
Barnacles! I'll never find-- [sees the tombstone and it shows his real name, Smitty Werben Man Jensen] The grave! Am I really going to defile this grave for money? Of course I am! [digs and hits something] Jackpot! [opens up the coffin] Ooh. It's beautiful. Come to papa. [takes the head off with the hat on] Hey, come on, Smitty, let go! [takes his head off] Rest in pieces, Smitty. [jumps out of the hole] I got the million dollar hat.

[lightning and thunder booms. Smitty stands up from his grave with his head in one hand]

Smitty:
Hey, man, that's my hat. Give it back.

Mr. Krabs:
What? No way. Just crawl back into your hole, bone boy. Go ahead, play dead.

Smitty:
I guess I'm gonna have to take it from you.

Mr. Krabs:
Yeah, right. You and what army? [But then, the skeleton zombie army came with an eerie moaning]

Smitty:
Only the army of the living dead. [all the other dead bodies are walking towards Mr. Krabs]

Mr. Krabs:
[scared] Oh, no! I've seen this on the late show! You ghoulish fiends hold me down and take turns nibbling on my innards, then you eat my brain and leave my body for the buzzards!

Smitty:
That's disgusting. We just want the hat back.

Mr. Krabs:
No flipping way! [takes the head of a swordfish and uses it as a sword] Back off! Back off, I say!

Smitty:
Attack. [the skeleton zombies ready to draw their weapons]

Mr. Krabs:
Tallyho! [sword fights a few zombies] Look at me, I'm Errol Fin! [chops up more bodies] You're falling apart, marrow brain! You must be kidding. [sword fights them] Back to oblivion! [jumps over a group of zombies] Oh, ho! How's your sister? All right, boneheads. Playtime's over. Yee-hoo! Ha-ha! [twirls around and destroys more of the skeleton zombies in the morning Mr. Krabs finishes destroying all the skeleton zombies and runs out of the cemetery] Wa-ha! A million dollars. I've got a million dollars! [runs back to his curio stand where the fish are talking altogether at once] Oh, there you are. Well, I got it. The rare novelty soda drinking hat. Let's start the bidding at one million dollars! [all of the fish look at each other and then laugh]

Fred:
Yeah, you want that all at once?

Fish #3:
One million dollars. You gotta be kidding!

Nat:
Hey! The poor sap's not kidding. Didn't you hear? They found a whole warehouse full of them. THEY'RE WORTHLESS! [the camera goes to a bunch of soda drinking hats are in the dumpster. The fish crack up laughing. SpongeBob walks by with a hat that has clapping hands on the top of it]

SpongeBob:
Let's give Mr. Krabs a big hand. [laughs]

Nat:
Now that's worth a million dollars. [SpongeBob laughs again and he leaves the background. Nat runs after him and the other fish follow] Hey, kid, wait up!

Fish #2:
I saw him first!

Fish #3:
I'll give you one billion dollars!

[Fred rows his row-boat along the ground to chase SpongeBob]

Mr. Krabs:
Well, that's a spirit breaker. [throws the soda drinking hat away and breaks down sobbing]

Squidward:
[walks by with flowers in hand] What a baby. [walks off and the episode ends]