Cougar Town, Season 1

Bobby:
You still grouchy about my alleged tab?

Grayson:
[Pulls back the beer he was about to serve Bobby and pours it down the drain] Oh, headfake. Goodbye delicious beer!

Bobby:
That's hateful.

Ellie:
I felt bad about you getting mugged, so I bought you some stuff. A rape whistle to help protect you from other scary lady muggers, some of that yogurt that helps old gals poop-

Andy:
That stuff really works. Like, BOOM!

Ellie:
And some tampons.

Bobby:
Awesome! [To Grayson] Hey if I put these in the machine in the ladies' room, can I get some nachos?

Ellie:
How are you not embarrassed?

Bobby:
Sorry, Ellie. Can't be done.

Andy:
You're talking to a guy whose main goal in life is to party so hard he literally craps his pants in every country.

Bobby:
I already knocked off America and Mexico. Mexico was easy.