The Boondocks, Season 1

Riley:
It wudn't me!

Officer:
It says, "Riley wuz here."

Riley:
Well maybe it was another Riley.

Officer:
You dropped these pictures (pictures show Riley posing in front of his graffiti), and, umm, you have paint all over your hands.

Tom:
Riley, graffiti is a serious crime. Now as the assistant district attorney, I'd have to arrest you and send you to jail, and you wouldn't want that, would you?

Riley:
(smirking) Nawwww, 'cause I remember when you got arrested that one time and you was cryin' 'cause you thought they were gonna rape you.

Tom:
(interrupting) Well, I don't exactly remember it happening like that.

Riley:
Yeah it did. The way you was talkin, they was fi'in to wear that ass out.

Tom:
(interrupting) Okayyyyy... So we're all agreed that none of us want to go to jail.

Riley:
And then there was somethin' about a salad, or somethin'?

Tom:
(enthusiastically) Yes! Salads! For dinner! They make you eat vegetables every night and they're not... delicious... at all.

Huey:
Uhhhh, is the cop here for me or Riley?

Granddad:
Your brother got caught spraying graffiti on... Wait, why would he be here for you?

Huey:
Uh, No reason.

Riley:
Fine, I knew y'all was gonna find a way to blame me for this. Go ahead! Say hello to the bad guy! But a white man told me to do it.

Tom:
Wait a minute, what white man? What did he look like?

Riley:
White... I just assumed he was in charge.

Officer:
Why?

Riley:
'Cause he was white!

Officer:
And just what did this white man look like?

Riley:
He had a... who do I look like, Snitchy McRat? I don't talk to police!

Granddad:
Boy, you better work your mouth!

Riley:
If you gonna take me to jail then take me to jail! (he holds out his wrists)

Granddad:
(scowls)