The Good Place, Season 1

Beadie:
Hello, Mindy. My name is Beadie. I'm from the Good Place, and welcome to your first day in the afterlife.

Trevor:
What's up, idiot? Sorry I'm late, babe. Hey, are you pregnant?

Beadie:
That's not possible.

Trevor:
Congrats. Yeah, so, Mindy, look. You mostly sucked, but then you did this one good thing. I mean, I still think we should get you...

Beadie:
They didn't, but neither did we. A compromise was made: the neighborhood you are in now by yourself. You submitted a list of things you wanted; the Good Place provided those things.

Trevor:
Yeah, and the Bad Place made some modifications.

Beadie:
We got you your favorite beer.

Trevor:
Yeah, but it's always warm.

Beadie:
On your jukebox, you'll find every song ever sung.

Trevor:
Yeah, by The Eagles, and it's only the live versions. Also, there's some spoken word poetry from William Shatner. It's deeply terrible.

Beadie:
You get the idea. Welcome to eternal mediocrity. Welcome to the Medium Place.