The Handmaid's Tale, Season 1

Offred:
Luke is alive. I stretch out my arms to him, but he slips away. Like a ghost at daybreak. And I am left here. I wish this story were different. I wish it showed me in a better light. In a different story, maybe I wouldn't be such a fucking weakling. So I've gone back to Nick. Time after time, on my own. I want to know him, memorize him, so I can live on the image later. I should have done that with Luke because he's fading. Day by day and night by night he recedes. And I become more faithless. I could say these are acts of rebellion, a "fuck you" to the patriarchy, but those are excuses. I'm here because it feels good and because I don't want to be alone.