The Maxx

Mr. Gone:
(Gone's recap monologue) Are you in the mood for a story? Because I've got quite a good one to tell you. It's about a little lady named Julie Winters. Mind you, if she heard me call her that, she'd cut my head off. (laughs) But I'm getting ahead of myself; she doesn't do that...until later. The Maxx. Now, how can I describe that big purple lummox? Oh, (chuckles) I just did. He lives in a box in an alley, but he thinks he's a superhero. And believe me, this city NEEDS one. See, it's being terrorized by a serial murderer. Don't tell anyone, but the bad guy? C'est moi. It's me. Mr. Gone, at your service. I attack people, sometimes kill them, and then I call Julie up and tell her. Hey, it beats a day job. These charming little fellows are Isz. They do a lot of the dirty work for me. You have to learn to delegate. The fun thing about the Isz's is they can take on the appearance of other things, like little men in raincoats, or a car full of grannies. Oh, and while they're black here in this plane, in the Outback they're pure white. Oh, I didn't mention the Outback, Pangea? Now there's someplace you must visit! Maxx and Julie do. It's kind of like their - weekend place, if your weekend place were a blasted desert filled with savage monsters and you couldn't control when or how you got there. In the Outback, Julie is a Jungle Queen, and Maxx her all-powerful protector. Don't say I said so, but the Outback probably exists only in her imagination. Hmm, heavy. Anyway, Maxx goes along fighting bad guys and looking for me, while Julie continues her crusade to turn bad fashion choices into political statements, and me, I just keep on terrorizing the city. Until I finally get around to kidnapping Julie, and just as I'm about to destroy her, she frees herself with an Isz tooth and pretty much - beheads me. Well, that's okay, no bones broken, I'll adjust. You see, Julie hates it when I play with her mind, telling her things she'd rather not face, like that she was attacked and left for dead as a student, or things about her mother and her father, and a cute little- oops! Mustn't spoil the surprise. Do you think I LIKE torturing her, seeing her confused and in pain? Of course I do. But that's not why I keep bringing her to a place she doesn't want to go, to hear things she doesn't want to hear. It's because I made a promise, and we sadistic psychopaths pride ourselves on being true to our word. Which is why it's so infuriating when hopping boy keeps getting in my face, preventing from discharging my obligation. Well, no point in being a gloomy gus. Now, meet the apple of my eye, the light of my life: this is Sarah, and what a kid! She's a breath of fresh air, a spritzer with a twist, and in a cold, bleak world, you can always count on Sarah to provide a warm ray of sunshine. Well, you know, she's at that awkward stage. Besides, I suppose her home life could have been better. Her mother's a relic from the sixties, hoping to be reunited with her lost brain cells. Sarah's mom and Julie argue about things that we serial killers don't really consider very important. Then there are the kids at school. You know how cruel children can be. Now that I think about it, Sarah's not really having such a great year. That's why she probably carries her father's gun around. By the way, did I mention that Maxx likes to watch cartoons? Can you imagine any intelligent adult doing that? Yes, sometimes he even falls asleep in front of the television. Maxx's problem is that you have to keep him busy or his mind...wanders. I do what I can, send surprise enemies his way at every opportunity. I keep hoping that one of them will take him out of the picture, so I can get on with Julie's education. But no such luck. He shrinks, he grows. Julie too. She goes to strange places, and guess who's always forced to tag along. Anyway, I promised you a story, but the best part is yet to come. See, Julie has just seen Maxx without his mask. It's causing her to think. This could be very good for yours truly. I believe Julie is finally beginning to wonder about who Maxx really is, and why they are together, and whether she wouldn't be better off exchanging him for a support group and some hand-packed ice cream. On the other hand hand, when Julie thinks, she sometimes get's angry, and that can be very bad for yours truly. It really can be quite an inconvenience being omniscient. Anyway, here's one bright spot. Sarah's learned a lot about herself from staring at a stone statue, I mean, who wouldn't? And just for laughs, I've worked it so that a foul smell is coming from Julie's place. Hmm, I wonder what it could be? Alright, you've caught me. I know what it is, and you will too if you pay attention. (laughs maniacally) I love my work!