The Two Ronnies

Shopkeeper:
Oh, tap washers, tap washers! (He very nearly breaks, and snatches the customer's list) Look, I've had just about enough of this, give us that list. (He mutters) I'll get it all myself! What's this! (Reading through the list) What's that? (finally breaks) Oh that does it! That just about does it! I have just about had enough of this! (calling through to the back) Mr. Jones! You come out and serve this customer please, I have just about had enough of 'im. (Mr. Jones comes out, and the shopkeeper shows him the list) Look what 'e's got on there! Look what 'e's got on there!

Mr. Jones:
(who goes to a drawer with a towel hanging out of it, and opens it): Right! How many would ya like? One or two?

(He removes the towel to reveal the label on the drawer - 'Bill hooks', the joke most likely being the shopkeeper misreading the customer's handwriting as "bollocks" or "pillocks")