Trigun

Vash:
HAHAHAHAHA!!! I'M LIKE A SITTING DUCK OVER HERE! I'M DEFENSELESS!

(bandit fires towards the voice but Vash grabs his gun, fires a smiley-face in a rock and holds him at gunpoint)

Bandit:
Oh, shit!

Vash:
Now, stand real still! You wouldn't want this gun to go off, would you?

Bandit:
I FOUND HIM! HE'S RIGHT OVER HERE, BOSS!

Vash:
Uh, would you mind lowering your gun like a good boy?

Bandit:
Forget it!

Vash:
You don't like pain, do you?

Bandit:
I'm used to it!

Vash:
Well, I'll feel sorry for your wife and kids, you'll make 'em cry...

Bandit:
I ain't got no kids and most women find me pretty offensive so I'm single!

Vash:
Sound like a pretty lonely life.

Bandit:
I'm telling you... (turns around) ... you have to die! It would sure make us all very happy if you do!

Vash:
(smiles) Sorry, I don't do requests!