Curb Your Enthusiasm, Season 2

Richard Lewis:
OK, ten years ago, I was in Paris.

Larry:
Forget Paris!

Richard Lewis:
OK, well, you stole my outgoing message on my answering machine.

Larry:
What are you crazy?

Richard Lewis:
Listen, I know you're ethicial. I'm ethical. You know when people steal jokes you f***in' hate that? I hate it when people steal my outgoing message. I came up with that message.

Larry:
You don't even know what you're talking about.

Richard Lewis:
You have the same answering machine outgoing message!

Larry:
That's my message!

Richard Lewis:
I wrote it in Paris!

Larry:
You wrote it in Paris?! I wrote it seven years ago!

Richard Lewis:
Bullshit! I came up with it seven and a half years ago!

Larry:
Listen, who are you going to believe? An ex-alcholic? Or a person who's been lucid 24 hours a day his entire life? (Laughing)

Richard Lewis:
Just please change it because it's really bothering me.

Larry:
(Still laughing) What? I'm not.

Richard Lewis:
Listen, people call me and they call you and they say "Oh well Larry David has the same thing on his machine." It's not Larry David's it's mine! I mean I don't have a wife, my parents are dead. You have a family!

Larry:
Oh, oh. He doesn't have a wife and his parents are dead.

Richard Lewis:
That's right!

Larry:
(fakes crying) He doesn't have a wife and his parents are dead.

Richard Lewis:
Do me a favor and change it.

Larry:
(Continues fake-crying) You're right, I'll change it because you don't have a wife and your parents, your parents they're dead! They would have been 95 but they're dead!