Desperate Housewives, Season 1

Andrew:
"You know what my mom said to me last night? She said she doesn't think I'm going to Heaven. Can you believe that?"

Reverend Sikes:
"I'm sure she didn't mean to hurt your feelings, but the only way you can know Paradise is by repenting your sins."

Andrew:
"When she said that to me, suddenly it hit me how I was gonna get back at her. From now on, I'm going to be so good. I'm gonna eat my vegetables, I'm,I'm gonna get good grades, I'm gonna say "yes, ma'am" and "no, ma'am." I'm gonna make her believe that God has delivered her this little miracle. Until one day, when she least expects it, I'm gonna do something so awful, it is going to rock her world. I mean, it is really going to destroy her. And when that day comes, trust me. I'll know Paradise."