Father Ted, Series 3

Tour Guide:
Now, this rock here is actually granite.

Father Ted:
How long would that have been there?

Tour Guide:
Oh, many, many millions of years.

Father Ted:
Really, as long as that? That is fascinating.

Father Dougal:
How come all the rocks are different sizes?

Tour Guide:
Well... you know, rocks are generally different sizes.

Father Dougal:
Wow! I'm finding out all kinds of things I never knew about rocks.

Tour Guide:
Of course, at this time, this whole area would have been submerged underwater.

Father Dougal:
How did everyone breathe?

Father Ted:
They'd have had some sort of apparatus.

Father Dougal:
Oh, right. Wow, look at that rock over there!

Tour Guide:
This is actually the oldest part of our tour. This particular cave was formed more than fifteen million years ago.

Father Ted:
Really? Wow, I don't believe it.

[the man in front of Ted turns around; it's Richard Wilson]

Richard Wilson:
You again! [attacks Ted] Get out of it, I don't want to see you again! BASTARD!