Friends, Season 5

Ross:
Someone at work ate my sandwich!

Chandler:
Well, what did the police say?

Ross:
My Thanksgiving leftover sandwich! I can't believe someone ate it!

Chandler:
It's just a sandwich!

Ross:
Just a sandwich? I'm 30 years old, I'm going to be divorced twice and I just got evicted! That sandwich was the only good thing going on in my life! SOMEONE ATE THE ONLY GOOD THING GOING ON IN MY LIFE! [pauses]

Monica:
I have enough stuff for one more sandwich. I was going to eat it myself, but...

Ross:
That would be incredible! Thank you so much! I still can't believe someone ate it!! I left a note!

Chandler:
[reading the note] "Knock-knock." "Who's there?" "Ross Geller's lunch." "'Ross Geller's lunch' who?" "Ross Geller's lunch; please don't take me, ok?"

Joey:
I'm surprised you didn't go home wearing your lunch!

Phoebe:
You want to hold on to your food, you have to scare people off. I learned that living on the street.

Ross:
Really? So what would you say? 'Keep your mitts off my grub'?

Chandler:
Ross, when you picture Phoebe living on the street, is she surrounded by the entire cast of Annie?

Phoebe:
[writing a note] This will keep them away from your stuff!

[Everyone sees the note and gasps]

Monica:
Phoebe, you are a bad-ass!

Phoebe:
Someday I'll tell you about the time I stabbed a cop!

Monica:
Phoebe!

Phoebe:
HE STABBED ME FIRST!!