Game of Thrones, Season 3

Jaime Lannister:
You know, it doesn't matter how loyal a servant you are, no one enjoys the company of a humorless mute. Trust me on this. People have been serving me since I was born. You think Lady Stark is going to want a giant towheaded plank following her around for the rest of her life? A week's journey with you and she'll order you to fall on your sword.

Brienne:
If Lady Stark is unhappy with any aspect of my service, I'm sure she'll let me know. She's an honest woman.

Jaime Lannister:
For all the good it's done her. How did you come into Lady Stark's service? There's something we can talk about.

Brienne:
Not your concern, Kingslayer.

Jaime Lannister:
It had to be recently. You weren't with her at Winterfell.

Brienne:
How would you know?

Jaime Lannister:
Because I visited Winterfell. I would have noticed your dour head smacking into the archways.

Brienne:
Move.

Jaime Lannister:
Were you pledged to Stannis?

Brienne:
[disgustedly] Gods, no.

Jaime Lannister:
Ah, Renly. Really? He wasn't fit to rule over anything more important than a 12-course meal.

Brienne:
Shut your mouth.

Jaime Lannister:
Why? I lived with him at court since he was a boy, don't forget. Could hardly escape the little tulip skipping down the corridors in his embroidered silks. I knew him far better than you.

Brienne:
I knew him as well as anyone. As a member of his Kingsguard, he trusted me with everything. He would have been a wonderful king.

Jaime Lannister:
Sounds like you quite fancied him.

Brienne:
I did not fancy him.

Jaime Lannister:
Oh, gods, you did. Did you ever tell him? No, of course not. You weren't Renly's type, I'm afraid. He preferred curly-haired little girls like Loras Tyrell. You're far too much man for him.

Brienne:
I'm not interested in foul rumors.

Jaime Lannister:
Unless they're about me. It's all true about Renly. His proclivities were the worst kept secret at court. It's a shame the throne isn't made out of cocks. They'd have never got him off it.

Brienne:
[grabs Jaime by his hair] Shut your mouth!

Jaime Lannister:
I don't blame him. And I don't blame you, either. We don't get to choose who we love.