How I Met Your Mother, Season 6

[Barney explains the origins of Desperation Day]

Barney:
Loneliness...the looming specter of Valentine's Day fast approaching...the two key ingredients to my favorite day of the year - February 13th, Desperation Day.

Robin:
That's not a thing.

Barney:
It's a thing. Much like Valentine's Day itself, Desperation Day dates back thousands of years. [Visualizes Roman-era wedding] Weddings were forbidden under ancient Roman law, so St. Valentine performed them in secret, under threat of death.

Ted:
[impressed] That's actually true.

Barney:
Wait. There's more.

Ted:
This won't be.

Barney:
And right by St. Valentine's side was his best bro, St. Desperatius, there to pick off insecure bridesmaids.

[Cut to fantasy scene with Barney as St. Desperatius and Ted as St. Valentine. Desperatius sees woman who looks like Robin.] St. Desperatius:
Whoa! Check out that one, her body is a perfect X. St. Valentine: Player! Play on! High V. [high-fives] Woman: Oh Jupiter! What are your plans for me? Fifteen and still unmarried. St. Desperatius: And I thought Pompeii was smoking. [woman smiles]

St. Desperatius:
Whoa! Check out that one, her body is a perfect X.

St. Valentine:
Player! Play on! High V. [high-fives]

Woman:
Oh Jupiter! What are your plans for me? Fifteen and still unmarried.

St. Desperatius:
And I thought Pompeii was smoking. [woman smiles]

Barney:
Every woman wants a date on Valentine's Day. That neediness reaches its climax - what up - on February 13th. A magical night, when a ten has the self-esteem of a four and the depraved enthusiasm of a two.