How I Met Your Mother, Season 6

[At his study, The Captain talks to Ted about Zoey leaving him for another man]

The Captain:
Once upon a time, Zoey and I were happy, blissful as Arcadian shepherds. I was Poseidon, she my Amphitrite. I dare say, not even Scylla and Charybdis could not have torn us asunder. We had great big boners for each other! But then, enter the scoundrel. [imagines scene of Zoey watching horror movie with half-naked thick moustached version of Ted] Zoey: Oh man, this movie is scary. Scoundrel Ted: I know, right?

Zoey:
Oh man, this movie is scary.

Scoundrel Ted:
I know, right?

The Captain:
I don't know who he is, but I pictured him with a mustache.

Ted:
Limit the search to guys with mustaches. Smart.

The Captain:
Anyway, soon the inevitable happened. She told me she was in love with someone else. Obviously, it made me angry.

Ted:
And the, that was the last time you saw her...

The Captain:
...but I gathered my composure and told her I'd do anything to keep her. I begged her not to leave. We made love that night -

Ted:
[spits out drink] It's damned good brandy.