The Inbetweeners, Series 1

Will:
(coming out of the newsagents, laden with bags) Mission accomplished!

Jay:
What's in all the bags then?

Will:
Just something to soak up the alcohol.

(Jay takes a bag and opens it)

Jay:
Crisps?!

Neil:
Where's the beer?!

Simon:
Have you spent all our money on fancy f***ing crisps?!

Neil:
You twat!

Jay:
(taking out the bottle of Drambuie) What the f***'s this?!

Will:
Drambuie.

Neil:
What's Drambuie?

Will:
It's a sort of whisky-based liqueur.

Neil:
What's a liqueur?

Jay:
It's what benders drink(!)

Neil:
Well why have we got that then?!

Simon:
(teasing) Because we're going back to yours and it's your dad's favourite drink.

Neil:
Oi, my dad's not bent.

Simon:
He is a bit, though.

Neil:
He's f***ing not!

Jay:
Right, let's look at the evidence. 1.) Your mum left him because he loves cock!

Neil:
(to Will) That's not true. Look, she was in a difficult place.

Will:
(teasing) In bed with a bender.

Simon:
(teasing) Your dad, who is a bender.

Jay:
2.) He wears tight denim shorts to do the gardening!

Simon:
And the only night he goes out all week is Wednesday, and that's to play badminton!

Neil:
(annoyed) Right! Well...Dad's not bent, because he's got hundreds of porn mags at home, and it's all straight!

Simon:
All straight?

Neil:
Some lesbian.

Simon:
Right, well we should go and have a look at it in that case.

Neil:
Well fine, come on then.