The Inbetweeners, Series 2

Simon:
[about finding dates for Will's birthday party] Maybe I'll see what Carli's up to.

Jay:
Not being seen dead with you in a million years, is what she's up to.

Simon:
Oh, I'm sorry, Russell Brand, who are you bringing again?

Jay:
Don't worry about me, mate, I'm up to my neck in sluts at the moment. Maybe I'll bring my new f***-buddy along, that little blonde barmaid from the Fox and Hounds.

Neil:
You pulled a barmaid? Nice!

Will:
Has she got any special dietary requirements? It's just I've never cooked for an imaginary woman before.

Jay:
Well, I know she's not allergic to nuts - my nuts...

Simon:
- brilliant...

Jay:
- or my cock.

Will:
She only eats small portions then?

Jay:
Well I didn't hear your mum complaining... although her mouth was full at the time.

Will:
Yep. Good one.