The Inbetweeners, Series 2

Will:
(to Simon) I need you to do something

Simon:
Ok what is it?

Will:
Have a look at my cock.

Simon:
(nervously) Ummm...

Will:
Not in a gay way. It's just that something's gone wrong.

Simon:
I think looking at your cock in any way is a bit gay.

Will:
Please, I'm serious. All my pubes have fallen out.

Simon:
What?

Will:
I was asleep at school, and...I must have had a wet dream because when I woke up it was all sticky, and...

Simon:
You spunked in the common room?

Will:
Yes, but listen...I went home to clean up, and all my pubes came off in the shower.

Simon:
You spunked yourself, in the common room, during the day...when there were people around?

Will:
(matter of factly) Yes.

Simon:
And then your pubes fell out?

Will:
(exasperated) Yes!

Simon:
I think this is way out of my league.

Will:
Look, you've got to help me. I've got that date with Daisy tonight, and if she touches or at least sees the bald old fella, what's she going to think?

Simon:
That you're a porn star?

Will:
Simon, look at me: I don't think she's going to think I'm a porn star!

Simon:
Maybe you could draw some pubes on with a marker pen.

Will:
(sarcastic) Oh yes, then maybe I'll draw a six-pack on my stomach! Or a longer cock!

Simon:
Or maybe stuff a wig down there.

Will:
(exasperatedly sarcastic) Oh...good idea! A cock wig!