Kitchen Nightmares, Season 4

Gordon:
I'm going to do some work in the kitchen. Do you have any recipes...on pen and paper?

Moe:
[points to his head] Right here.

Gordon:
What?!

Moe:
Right here.

Gordon:
So why aren't they on pen and paper? Why haven't we got a database?

Moe:
I like to keep my recipes secrets. If I put them on a piece of paper, I don't want anyone to steal them.

Gordon:
(Bleep) hell. Oh, (bleep). So you're worried that somebody gets the recipe and copies it.

Moe:
Anybody changes my recipe, I'm going to kill them. It's my recipe.

Gordon:
Rami, help me out here. Is this for real?

Rami:
This is what we do everyday chef. [Gordon laughs]

Moe:
You think it's funny but believe what I tell you.

Gordon:
I don't think it's funny, You're just a little bit deluded.

Moe:
Well you know what? The recipes are in my head.

Gordon:
[incredulously] Are you stupid?!

Moe:
I am not stupid.

Rami:
Moe, you are stupid. [interview] The kitchen absolutely don't know what the (bleep) to cook because the recipe is in Moe's head! It's crazy.

Moe:
Don't call me stupid in my (bleep) restaurant! You understand that you need to learn how to talk to people?! This is New Orleans! You understand?!

Gordon:
Wow...

Moe:
This is New Orleans! Don't (bleep) come down here talking to us like that!

Gordon:
Calm down...

Moe:
I have NEVER been chewed up like you chewed me up! (in interview) We got nothing but swamp around here! Anybody who talk like that get chopped up and fed to the (bleep) alligators!

Gordon:
I'm not here to blow smoke up your (bleep) arse, let me tell you that. I'm here to fix this restaurant. But you are one obstacle, aren't you?

Moe:
No, I'm an easy-going guy...I listen, I work hard....

Gordon:
But you're a..."busy idiot."

Moe:
:....I don't think he gets it that he needs to watch his language.

Rami:
But you're not getting that he's here to help us.

Moe:
But I'm not calling him an idiot, he's calling me an idiot.

Gordon:
"Busy" idiot.

Moe:
Busy idiot.

Gordon:
You're working hard in the wrong places.

Moe:
I mean, I feel like flipping the (bleep) table right now.

Rami:
Did you hear what he said? He just explained it, you're working hard in the wrong places.

Moe:
Busy idiot! Is he kidding me?! [in interview] I will stand up, beat the (bleep) out of him, and show him who the (bleep) idiot is!

Gordon:
What is it you want? A fight?

Moe:
[long pause] My problem is, I wanna make this restaurant successful.

Gordon:
So do I. I'm here to help. I don't want to see you running around killing yourself like a busy idiot. I've just gone over the fact that we haven't got any recipes on paper, and all in your head. You're worrying about writing them down for some other chef copying them and making their restaurants more successful than yours. I'm in the real world. That's where I am. You're treating me like one of your (bleep) staff. Well, let me tell you, Moe, I'm not a member of your staff. Flip the table, punch me, do the (bleep) what you wanna do. But don't (bleep) with me.