Law & Order, Season 13

Clerk:
Docket #534687. People vs. Reynaldo Celaya. Murder in the first degree.

Judge Goldberg:
And the plea?

Reynaldo:
Not guilty, your honor.

Judge Goldberg:
There's a first. Miss Southerlyn?

Southerlyn:
The defendant shot and killed his brother's wife within days of being released from prison. Bail shouldn't even be a consideration.

Judge Goldberg:
I don't suppose you agree with that.

Clemens:
Bail schmail. What's a couple of days in Rikers after 10 years in Attica? Not gonna waste your time, your honor.

Judge Goldberg:
You know what, counselor? This is a first.

[just as Reynaldo is escorted out, Rafael jumps out of his seat and confronts his brother]

Rafael:
¡Tu eres un demonio! ¡Asesino!

Reynaldo:
¡Era mi esposa!

Rafael:
[shouts back in Spanish]

Reynaldo:
Not if I kill you first!!

Rafael:
¡Yo te mato! ¡Yo te mato! ¡Es mi esposa!

Reynaldo:
She's my wife! Cabron, she's my wife!

Rafael:
¡¡ASESINO!! [shouts in Spanish] ¡Reynaldo, yo te mato! ¡Asesino! ¡ASESINO!

[both brothers are separately escorted out of the courtroom]

Judge Goldberg:
Hmm. Nothing like a little excitement to get the heart pumping. What's next on the menu?

Clerk:
Docket #534781. People vs. Clara Perazzo. Charge is murder in the second degree.

Judge Goldberg:
Surprise me, Miss Perazzo.

Clara:
I don't know what you mean.

Judge Goldberg:
I need a plea. Did you do it?

Clara:
Yes!

Berman:
I don't think my client understands, your honor.

Clara:
I understand perfectly. I killed the SOB.

Berman:
She's obviously mentally disturbed.

Southerlyn:
The defendant killed her husband, your honor.

Berman:
She ran him over 4 times with her car.

Judge Goldberg:
I admire her restraint.

Berman:
I object!

Judge Goldberg:
Cool your jets, counselor. Shall we take this from the top?

Clara:
No need to, your honor. Dom is dead, and I did it. I knew exactly what I was doing.

Judge Goldberg:
I'm not supposed to express personal opinions in the courtroom, but I gotta tell you, Miss Perazzo, you make me proud to be an American.

Clara:
Thank you.

Judge Goldberg:
Cheating on you, was he?

Clara:
Yeah! But I could live with that. I could live with his perversions. But I won't go under the knife for anyone! [points at her breasts] These were good enough for him when we got married!