The League, Season 3

Ruxin:
[on video will] Hello, I'm Rodney Ruxin. Everyone calls me Ruxin. And this is my last will and testament. First of all, congratulations for knowing me. You really knocked it out of the park, friend-wise. But now I have moved on-left this world for a better place.

Jenny:
Is it hot there?

Kevin:
Shh.

Ruxin:
My prize golf clubs I leave to Pete. No, Kevin... Wha... Andre...

Andre:
Me?

Ruxin:
No... Pete... No, Kev... You know what, no, throw 'em away.

Andre:
What?

Ruxin:
Nope, sell them on Craigslist. No, you know what, throw them away.

Pete:
It's classic. He even tinkers with his will.

Ruxin:
Craigslist. Craigslist. A few things to clear up. Pete, your Paul's Boutique vinyl-I took it.

Pete:
What?!

Ruxin:
I listened to it, I scratched it, I threw it away and blamed it on the lacrosse team.

Pete:
Son of a bitch. [noticing Sofia] Sorry.

Ruxin:
To Jenny-honestly, I don't get it. I don't see what Kevin sees in you. I don't get you guys; never did.

Taco:
100% agree.

Sofia:
Yeah.

Ruxin:
Now, if I die or am incapacitated during the regular season, I bequeath my team to... Andre.

Jenny:
What?

Andre:
He picked me. Out of all of you, he picked me. This is great. I mean...

Ruxin:
Andre, the shit just got really real.

Andre:
Okay.

Ruxin:
And you better not f*** this up.

Pete:
No pressure, buddy.

Ruxin:
This has been my last will and testament. I mean, whatever, I'm dead now. So I just want to wish you one last hearty and heartfelt... Suck it!