Malcolm in the Middle, Season 4

Dewey:
[on a microphone] Hello, my name is Dewey. The man with the balloon is my father, Hal.

Hal:
[in a spotlight] Dewey?

Dewey:
I'm the youngest of four kids, and I always get the short end of everything. I've never had a hot shower or a bed to myself. I'm the third person to wear this underwear. And yet, I've never complained.

Hal:
Dewey, what is this about?

Dewey:
Even when my parents decided to have another baby. And they told me they're inducing labor. And they picked a really interesting day to do it. Do you remember what day you picked, Dad?

Hal:
Dewey?

Dewey:
[echoing] What day did you pick, Dad?

Hal:
It's Thursday! Just come down from wherever you are!

Dewey:
Of all the days you could've picked, you chose this Thursday. Anything interesting about Thursday, Dad?

Hal:
Will you stop this?!

Dewey:
Anything at all you could think of that might be happening this Thursday?

Hal:
Okay, Dewey, what is the big deal about Thursday?

Dewey:
[echoing] It's. My. Birthday.

[The listening crowd is shocked in disgust]

Hal:
It is not your... [counts the days on his hand and realizes Dewey is right] Oh, God!

Dewey:
Well, ladies and gentlemen, that's the story of a little boy who lost his birthday. If you have any thoughts or comments, my dad would love to hear them.