Modern Family, Season 1

Jay:
[about a comedian] You're going to love him. Trust me, the guy's hilarious.

Gloria:
Okay, tell me one of his jokes.

Jay:
Well, he doesn't do jokes.

Gloria:
Does he have a mallet?

Jay:
No.

Gloria:
So then how does he get hit in the head?

Jay:
He doesn't get hit in the head. He makes observations. He tells the truth in a funny way- come on, he's been on Johnny Carson a hundred times.

Gloria:
Who the hell is Johnny Carson?

Jay:
Oh, for God's sake.

[Cut to Jay and Gloria talking to the camera]

Jay:
Gloria and I are from different generations, and I won't lie, it isn't always easy. I mean, last week she thought Simon & Garfunkel were my lawyers.

Gloria:
No I didn't.

Jay:
It's a joke.

Gloria:
I don't get it.

Jay:
Maybe that's because there's no mallet.

Gloria:
Yeah, I wish I had a mallet right now.