Modern Family, Season 2

Claire:
So where is she? Where's Mom?

Jay:
Yeah, let's get the weirdness over with.

Mitchell:
[to Claire] I thought she was coming with you.

Claire:
Oh, no, no, I haven't seen Mom since, let's see....oh! she made out with my ex-boyfriend last night!

Jay:
WHAT?!?

Mitchell:
NO, MY GOD!!

Claire:
Yeah, yeah. And then, she took off with him, didn't come back to the house until after I was asleep and then this morning, left a cute little note that said "Having breakfast with Robbie!"

Jay:
What the hell is she doing, he's half her age!

[Mitchell and Claire give sarcastic looks at him and Gloria]

Jay:
Don't say it.

Gloria:
[slurringly] I think it's sweet. Love is beautiful, it has no age. When it's meant to be, it's meant to be...that is the question.

Claire:
Dad, what's going on over there?

Jay:
She was a little nervous about your mother being here, so she tried her first Xanax and washed it down with a shot of tequila.