Monk, Season 1

[Monk, Sharona, Stottlemeyer and Disher are in Stottlemeyer's office]

Capt. Stottlemeyer:
Close the door. [Randy closes the door] What you are about to see cannot leave this room. The tabloids would pay a million dollars for this videotape. It's from the surveillance camera near the crime scene. [Randy presses play on the tape]

Lt. Disher:
The alley's a dead end. This is the only way in. The side door to the radio station was wired to an alarm, so we know it wasn't opened.

Capt. Stottlemeyer:
The bottom line: we can tell for sure who was or was not there. [Monk pretends playing the clarinet] What the hell are you doing? [Monk signals to Stottlemeyer to wait a minute]

Sharona:
Oh, uh, he's practicing.

Capt. Stottlemeyer:
Really?

Sharona:
Willie Nelson invited him to sit in with his band.

Capt. Stottlemeyer:
Well, he may be live from Folsom Prison. Check this out. Go ahead. [Randy presses play on the tape. On the tape, Mrs. Mass pass by the camera as she enters the alleyway, tapping her cane as she feels around] Yeah, there goes Mrs. Mass. Tap, tap, tap. She goes into the alley. Fast-forward. [Randy fast forwards the tape a few minutes; Sonny Cross walks by the camera] And there goes the soon-to-be-late Sonny Cross. [A few seconds after Sonny Cross enters, Willie Nelson runs past the camera] And there goes Willie Nelson. Nobody else goes in or out. Pretty much a slam dunk.

Sharona:
Are you gonna arrest him?

Capt. Stottlemeyer:
D.A.'s ready to move. I'm waiting for some tests from the lab. Maybe tomorrow. [turns to Randy] Call your mom. Tell her to set the VCR. We're gonna be on the 6:00 news.

Monk:
Captain, what about the note on the door?

Capt. Stottlemeyer:
My videotape trumps your note. Ask any lawyer.

Monk:
I don't know.

Capt. Stottlemeyer:
Monk, look. My heroes have been always been cowboys too. It's either "A," the blind woman, who has zero motive, or it's "B," your buddy, the Red-Headed Stranger.

Lt. Disher:
Who had motive, means and opportunity, and was the identified by the only witness at the scene.

Capt. Stottlemeyer:
"A" or "B", Monk?

Monk:
I think it's "C".

Capt. Stottlemeyer:
"C"? What the hell is "C"?

Monk:
I don't know yet.