Monk, Season 3

[FBI agent Colmes wants Monk to wear a wire into a meeting with mob kingpin Salvatore Lucarelli]

Monk:
Okay, okay. Here's the thing: I can't have anything taped to my chest.

Agent Colmes:
Ah, that's fine. Come here, I'll... let me show you this. Ah, you see, these days... [pulls out a piece of paper] We can put a transmitter just about anywhere on the human body. You have six options.

[Monk and Sharona examine the list, with Disher and Stottlemeyer looking over their shoulders.]

Monk:
Number One... is out. Number Two... uh, you-you wouldn't actually shave me there, would you? [Colmes nods.] Okay... no thank you. Number Three...

Sharona:
What if you had to sit down?

Monk:
Right. Good point. Number Four... [slowly looks up at Colmes, then turns to Sharona] Even if I die, don't let them do Number Four.

Lt. Disher:
Number Five.

Monk:
I'll do... okay. I'll do it. I'll try that.

Sharona:
That's only for women!

Lt. Disher:
Oh! Right.

Monk:
Oh, yeah. Ah, Number Six... Number Six. I'll... I can do that.

Agent Colmes:
Number Six? Great.

Monk:
Not Four.