Monk, Season 3

[A biker, Dewey Albert, comes out of a store but finds a police officer and undercover cop waiting by his motorcycle]

Dewey Albert:
Aw, man!

Officer Cooper:
Hi Dewey. Did you miss me?

Dewey Albert:
[to the undercover cop sitting on the bike] Come on, get off the bike. Arrest me, do whatever you want with me, just don't touch the bike!

Officer Cooper:
You skipped out on your hearing yesterday; made our Captain very very angry.

Dewey Albert:
Well you can tell Stottlemeyer he can kiss my ass.

Undercover Cop:
You can tell him yourself; he'll be here any second.

Officer Cooper:
Come on, you know the routine, put your hands on the car. [Dewey obeys and Cooper tries to handcuff him]

Dewey Albert:
Have you guys got anything better to do?

[A car pulls up; the driver pulls a gun out of the glove compartment and aims it out the passenger's side window]

Dewey Albert:
Get off my bike.

Undercover Cop:
You know I think I'll take it for a ride.

Dewey Albert:
Don't do that, hey. [he tries to move but Cooper restrains him. Stottlemeyer and Disher pull up in their own car]

Undercover Cop:
What is this, a vintage Softtail? 80 incher? I've always wanted to ride one of these.

Lt. Disher:
Hey Coop. This guy giving you any trouble? [A gunshot is heard and the driver's window on Stottlemeyer's unit shatters. The cops duck behind the patrol cars, shouting to each other as the gunman continues to fire at them and speeds away]