Monk, Season 5

[Max Hudson comes home to find the police outside his house and Randy on the front driveway]

Max Hudson:
What, uh…what's going on?

Lt. Randall Disher:
Well I could tell you, but Adrian Monk wants to tell you himself. He's upstairs. After you. [Cuts to Max entering the bedroom, where Monk, Natalie, Linda Riggs, and Stottlemeyer are waiting for him]

Max Hudson:
Linda? Uh-huh. I don't know the legal definition of harassment, but this is pretty close. [Stottlemeyer hands Max a paper]

Capt. Stottlemeyer:
Mr. Hudson, that's a search warrant. You've been duly served.

Max Hudson:
Ah, sure, okay. Knock yourself out. You're just embarrass yourselves, again.

Monk:
It's over, Max. We know how you did it. We know what you were doing every day at 2:00 PM.

Natalie:
You were next door!

Max Hudson:
That's right, I was. I was house sitting. I was watering their plants.

Max Hudson:
Nah, you were training their dog.

Capt. Stottlemeyer:
We replayed the tape of the show you made the morning your wife died. That was the day you introduced your new catchphrase, "Jangle my tenders."

Lt. Disher:
"Jiggle me timbers," sir.

Capt. Stottlemeyer:
Jiggle me timbers.

Lt. Disher:
You never said it before that day or since. I'm a big fan. Well, I was. Unless you're not guilty, in which case, we're all really sorry about all this. Although, I'm pretty sure you're guilty. But if you're not, I'm sorry.

Max Hudson:
This is insane.

Capt. Stottlemeyer:
Well, it's easy enough to prove. [picks up a walkie-talkie and speaks into it] Let's do it.

[Cuts to a police officer talking to the next door neighbor while carrying a portable radio. He presses play]

Max Hudson:
[on tape] ...Friday and, by the way, I saw it last night. Jiggle me timbers! [The dog takes off and darts through the dividing hedge]

Little Willie:
[on tape] Hey Max, where did you get that? "Jiggle me timbers"…