Monk, Season 6

Capt. Stottlemeyer:
Okay, let's go over it again, from the top.

Lt. Disher:
[reading from his notebook] OK. Husband, Robert Sherman, owns expensive rug. Intruder's shoes indicate he wiped his feet.

Natalie:
Why would a kid breaking and entering bother to wipe his feet?

Monk:
Because he wasn't breaking and entering! They knew each other. It was a setup.

Capt. Stottlemeyer:
Maybe...

Lovely Rita:
[from the corner, handcuffed to a chair] Maybe the kid, the intruder, was planning on stealing the rug, and didn't want to scuff it up.

Capt. Stottlemeyer:
[wryly] Thank you.

Lovely Rita:
Anytime.

Capt. Stottlemeyer:
Maybe he planned on stealing the rug.

Lt. Disher:
Okay, what about this? The phone in the bedroom was unplugged.

Lovely Rita:
That doesn't mean anything. I unplug my phone all the time, if I want to sleep, when I'm going to bed...

Capt. Stottlemeyer:
She's right. Doesn't mean anything.

Lt. Disher:
Well, how about this? The wife's slippers.

Natalie:
Right, the husband said she went downstairs because she was cold. If she was cold, why wouldn't she put on her slippers? [pause. Everyone turns to look at Rita]

Lovely Rita:
Well, she wasn't really cold. She just said she was cold. She was really going downstairs to... get a bite of that chocolate cake in the refrigerator.

Monk:
What chocolate cake?! Who are you?

Lt. Disher:
This is Rita DePasque, aka "The Lovely Rita." She's a material witness on a knife fight downtown.

Lovely Rita:
Alleged knife fight. Alleged. I love that word.

Capt. Stottlemeyer:
The Lovely Rita has a point, amazingly enough. Any hotshot lawyer could explain away that entire notebook.

Monk:
That's true but if you look at the picture, the big picture, I mean, it's plain as day! He's the guy.

Capt. Stottlemeyer:
Was the wife insured?

Monk:
No.

Capt. Stottlemeyer:
So where's your motive?

Lovely Rita:
Wake up! [scoots her chair over] You've got two people, living under the same roof. One of them wants the other one dead. Believe me, I know.

Monk:
He didn't love her! I was there when the M.E. wheeled out the wife. All he cared about was the rug.

Lovely Rita:
You're cute.

Monk:
No, I'm not.

Lovely Rita:
You ever unbutton that top button?

Monk:
Uhh...

Capt. Stottlemeyer:
There is one problem with your theory: they never met. We checked their records - their bank records, their emails, their phone records. We talked to their friends - There is no connection between Rob Sherman and Dewey Jordan.

Monk:
Look, I know I've seen them someplace.

Capt. Stottlemeyer:
Where?

Monk:
I don't know. Just somewhere. It's driving me crazy.

Capt. Stottlemeyer:
Well, they lived in different worlds. [hands them one file] Here's Dewey Jordan's rapsheet - 19 arrests, 12 convictions: bad checks, drugs; a couple of burglaries. [hands over another file] And in sharp contrast, here is Mr. Sherman's jacket - one arrest - one in his entire life: driving with a suspended license.