Monk, Season 6

Capt. Stottlemeyer:
Any ideas?

Monk:
I don't know. I don't know.... OK. Maybe a hit man was paid to kill Julie Teeger, but he doesn't know what she looks like.

Capt. Stottlemeyer:
And he's killing all of them? Monk, that doesn't track! The M.O.s are so different: the housewife was stabbed and the graduate student was run down.

Monk:
Okay, okay, you're right, that doesn't make any sense... [Disher comes in]

Lt. Disher:
Captain. Monk. I've got two ideas. Which do you want first?

Capt. Stottlemeyer:
The one that will make me less pissed off. [Randy sets a file down on the desk]

Lt. Disher:
Theory A. I remember this old case - Matthew Teeger, 35 years old. The guy's been committed twice for acute schizophrenia and delusions.

Monk:
Any arrests?

Lt. Disher:
Yeah, assault. Three years ago he attacked his stepfather. He said he was defending his mother. Apparently he's obsessed with her. Guess what her name is? [Stottlemeyer lifts up the page in question]

Monk:
Julia Teeger.

Capt. Stottlemeyer:
A history of violence and a mother obsession.

Monk:
I like it.

Capt. Stottlemeyer:
I like it, too. Let's talk to this guy.

[Monk, Stottlemeyer and Disher leave the squad room]

Monk:
[to Randy] What about your other idea? You said you had two?

Lt. Disher:
Oh, yeah... well, it's a just a theory, just brainstorming.

Capt. Stottlemeyer:
[looks at the DVD in Randy's hand] The Terminator? What, you think he might be a robot assassin sent from the future?

Lt. Disher:
Well, he was killing women with the same name. Forget it.

Capt. Stottlemeyer:
[imitates Schwarzenegger] "Sarah Connor, come with me if you want to live."

Lt. Disher:
Uh, that was T-2.

Capt. Stottlemeyer:
Well, maybe we could lure him to a smelting plant on the outskirts of town. [They get on the elevator]

Lt. Disher:
Can I have that back, please?

Capt. Stottlemeyer:
[still imitating] "And things of this nature..."