Monk, Season 7

Monk:
[writing a check] "Payable to... Natalie Teeeee.................ger."

Natalie:
My four favorite words.

[Monk starts to slowly tear the check out of his checkbook. He tears it out so slowly that Natalie is able to go to the kitchen to pour herself a cup of coffee and get back just as he pulls the check out and hands it to her]

Natalie:
Thank you.

Monk:
Thank you very much. [Natalie stops]

Natalie:
Um, excuse me, where's the rest of this? I worked Tuesday night, remember? That was overtime.

Monk:
I thought you were just hanging out.

Natalie:
No, Mr. Monk, I wasn't "hanging out". I spent seven hours reorganizing the utensil drawer! That was a work!

Monk:
But, you said it was fun. I-I distinctly remember. I said, "Isn't this fun?" And you said, "Uh-huh," so...

Natalie:
You mean unless I'm complaining, you're not going to pay me?! Is-is that the new rule?!

Monk:
Even if I wanted to! I've already torn it out of the checkbook.

Natalie:
[trying to direct Monk's hand to void her bad check] Yeah, so you just void it out. Wr-write "VOID" right here, then you just write another one!

Monk:
Natalie! I can't do that. If it were up to me...

Natalie:
Of course it's up to you!!

Monk:
I need you to use your inside voice.

Natalie:
What?! Oh my God!! [screams in frustration] GOD!!!!

Monk:
I'm a little short on cash right now. But I'm good for it. You know I'm good for it. I'll make up for it. You just keep track-

Natalie:
Yeah I have been keeping track! It's over $1,800, Mr. Monk!

[Linda Kloster enters the room, a finger over her lip. Monk and Natalie stop and turn to face her]

Linda Kloster:
I'm sorry. The door was open. I thought I heard screaming.

Natalie:
Oh, no, that's just me. I scream every payday.

Monk:
Can I help you?

Linda Kloster:
My name is Linda Kloster, husband is Patrick Kloster.

Monk:
Patrick Kloster? The chess master?

Natalie:
Yeah I was just reading about him. He's like some kind of supergenius, like, off the charts.

Linda Kloster:
Yes, well, Patrick has an IQ of 180, four points higher than Albert Einstein's.

Monk:
Well what can I do for you?

Linda Kloster:
Well, it's my husband; he's gonna kill someone.

Natalie:
How do you know?

Linda Kloster:
He talks about it. He talks about it all the time; he says he has a perfect plan and he's never gonna get caught.

Monk:
Did he say who he's going to kill?

Linda Kloster:
Yes. It's me. [pause] He's gonna kill me.