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Mystery Science Theater 3000, Season 5

Mystery Science Theater 3000 (1988-1999) is an American TV show that mocks bad movies by riffing on their strange characters, absurd settings, and silly plot twists, interspersing erudite cultural quips with schoolboy jokes and general zaniness. The… more »

[The short closes with the cleaned-up teens going to bed.]

Narrator:
And so... the end of a perfect day.

Joel [as Narrator]:
An entire day spent grooming.

. . .

Narrator:
And you...

Joel [as Narrator]:
Jezebel!

Narrator:
...by following these simple rules of body care and grooming, you too will [have] that quality of appearance, that feeling of well-being, so important to make your dreams of happiness come true.

Crow [as Narrator]:
And remember-when you touch yourself, the saints cry. Goodnight.

[As we fade out...]

Joel:
KEEP WATCHING THE MEDICINE CABINETS! KEEP WATCHING THE MEDICINE CABINETS!

Crow:
You're next!

[A few more names appear]

Servo:
[sarcastically] Oh, let's not forget these guys!

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