New Girl, Season 1

Jess:
[in a British accent, with a pair of lacy panties on her head] Mr. Darcy's going to love my new bonnet.

Cece:
Why are we here?

Jess:
You don't understand. You've never been cheated on before. Spencer and I never tried anything new, and maybe if I'd been... more erotic...

Cece:
Spencer cheated on you because he's a total jerk, not 'cause you're bad in bed.

Jess:
It's been six years. Everything I know about sex, I learned from Spencer or the Clinton impeachment trial.

[Flashback starts]

NPR on the radio:
He used a cigar as a sexual aid with her in the Oval Office area...

Jess's mother:
Jess!

Young Jess:
Mom?! [shoves the radio] I'm not listening to NPR.

[End of flashback]

Jess:
[whistles while holding a starfish lingerie]

Cece:
No. No whistle. It's terrible!

Jess:
Uh, excusez-moi. Can I try this on, please?

Clerk:
Oh, the starfish. You can't try that on. Health code.

Jess:
I'll take it! I hope Paul's packing some coral polyps, 'cause this starfish is hungry. Starfish eat coral polyps.

Cece:
Just pay, Jess.