New Girl, Season 1

Jess:
But you're using birth control, right?

Cece:
Yeah, of course. It's just that Schmidt gets so athletic that birth control becomes like one of those plastic barbecue covers in a hurricane.

Jess:
I didn't wanna know that. Okay, the pregnancy test doesn't work until after six days, so just get through the weekend and don't tell Schmidt until you're sure.

Cece:
Yeah, no, of course not, of course. It's just... I can't stop thinking about what a Schmidt baby would be like.

Jess:
Just, I mean, I, I don't know.

Cece:
Would it just wanna nurse 24 hours a day?

Jess:
Probably. We could make it, like, a douche baby jar.