Never Mind the Buzzcocks, Series 5

Frank:
I bet he's a goer though, he's very fit, isn't he, Jimmy. I bet he could go for hours! I bet if you have sex with Jimmy Savile, afterwards you get a Mars bar and a Bacofoil cloak! (huge laughter from the audience, Mark and the teams)

Leeroy:
I think there's some porn going on there, 'cos all that jewellery, that's gotta come to a fair bit. Both of them are caked in gold. There's gotta be a bit of porn involved, 'cos it's far too expensive to have all that on.

Mark:
So you think the richest people in the world are those that star in porn films?

Phill:
You couldn't have Jimmy Savile in a porn film, you'd never be able to concentrate! (as Savile) "Now, you're a lovely lady, and I'm a plum-ber, and I've come to fix yer... How's about me repairing your plum-bing?"

Mark:
Now then, now then, now then, what's that then?

Phill:
And then when he's actually having sex... (as Savile) Eh-uh-uh... (goes into Savile's yodel)

Frank:
The orgasm!

Mark:
I'm guessing there might be other areas we could explore.

Frank:
If it was Gloria Estefan, we could've done a "Clunk Click, Every Trip" joke. (audience groans) Oh, come on! Apparently her last two had sold so well her spine went platinum. Is it true that his hairdresser was so famous they wrote an opera about him? (turns to camera) And that's this week's viewer's question, so what would that opera be called? (Mark laughs) Jimmy Savile's hairdresser, they wrote an opera about him. Call, and the prize is my dressing room key here at the BBC, ladies and gentlemen. (picks up and shows his key) Any offers?

Mark:
No entrance.

Male audience member:
The Barber of Savile!

Frank:
The Barber of Savile! Well done!

Mark:
(laughing and pointing at the audience member) He was pleased with himself!