Only Fools and Horses, Series 4 (1985)

Uncle Albert:
[shaking his head at Rodney] They must have seen him coming! [Del enters, glaring at Rodney]

Del:
Morning unc.

Albert:
Morning son.

Del:
What's it like out?

Albert:
Oh it's parky Del.

Del:
Nice thick frost, is there?

Albert:
Bit slippery under foot.

Del:
Good. Lovely little flecks of snow?

Albert:
Bit of sleet yeah.

Del:
Cushty. Nice brisk northerly wind howling in from the Urals is there?

Albert:
Cuts right through yer, Del.

Del:
Lovely. Cos you see today Uncle Albert, owing to young Rodney's forsight and GCE's, while all them other plonkers down the market are selling woolly hats and thermal underwear, we are gonna make a right killing. Do you know why we're gonna make a killing? We ain't got woolly underwear. We've got sun tan lotion! And we ain't just a little drop of sun tan lotion... We've got 500 bloody quids worth of the stuff!

Rodney:
I told you before, I bought it as an investment.

Del:
An investment!? Menage a trois! In the middle of the worst winter for two million years, with the weathermen laying odds on a new ice age, this dipstick goes out and buys up Ambre Solaire!

Rodney:
The weathermen are also forecasting a boiling hot summer! So come May or June, we can sell all that, or swap it for something else!

Del:
Like 50 or 60 anoraks, maybe!

Rodney:
You won't give me no credit will ya?

Albert:
Nor will that Paki.

Rodney:
Shut up Albert!

Albert:
Nothing to do with me.

Del:
That £500 that you squandered on this stuff was the last of the company's capital!

Rodney:
Oh, and how was I supposed to know that?

Del:
(incredulous) How were you supposed to know that!? You're the firm's accountant, you wally!!!

Rodney:
Throw that at me now will ya?

Del:
Oh look at that! We've got nothing to sell and no money to buy with.

Albert:
Well it can't be that bad Del there must be something you can knock out.

Del:
Yeah. I know what I would like to knock out

Albert:
What's in the van?

Del:
Nothing

Albert:
What's in the garage?

Rodney:
The van.

Del:
The only thing we've knocked out in the last month was that electric deep fryer I gave to the governor of the Nag's Head and I'm waiting for a comeback on that!

Rodney:
[gesturing at Albert] Well, it's him, innit? I mean ever since he came to live here, we've had nothing but bad luck!

Albert:
What's he on about now!?

Del:
Oh, I don't know!

Rodney:
Alright, what about the time he was in the Navy!? Every single ship he ever sailed on either got torpedoed or divebombed! Two of them in peacetime! Del, that man is a jinx!

Del:
Oh, leave it out, Rodney! Gordon Bennett, you'll be burning witches next!