Raising Hope, Season 1

Burt:
[at the first neighbor's doorstep] Hi. Are you looking for someone to care for your lawn? Cause I'm not one of those mow and blow guys. Cause I will weed, prune, plant. I'm dependable and trustworthy. Here's my card.

[gives the neighbor his card.]

Burt:
Also I'm a sexual offender.

[the neighbor tosses his card and closes the door. At the next neighbor's house]

Burt:
Good News, I'm not a Jehovah's Witness. Bad News, I'm a sex offender.

[another neighbor closes her door. At another neighbor's house, Burt is seen though the top of the front door's small door.]

Burt:
Hello, I'm your neighbor, Burt Chance. I just want to let you know there's a sexual predator living in the neighborhood. It's me!

[The neighbor closes the door. The scene changes to Burt at another neighbor's house giving back her staple gun.]

Burt:
About 8 years ago, I borrowed your staple gun. Oh, also I'm a sexual predator.

[The woman tries to hit Burt with a staple gun and he runs. She tackles him to the ground and put staples on his back with a staple gun.]