Rescue Me, Season 1

[Talking about a fireman who retired and them came out of the closet, and also claims to know more gay firemen]

Sean:
Well, maybe he just thought they were gay because they were well-groomed, and uh, into fashion. You know what I mean?

Chief Reilly, Franco, Lou, and Tommy:
No.

Sean:
Well, maybe they weren't homosexuals. Maybe they were metrosexuals.

Lou:
What?

Tommy:
My daughter used that term last week.

Franco:
The teenager?

Tommy:
The eight-year-old.

Chief Reilly:
What in the sweet chocolate christ is a metrosexual?

Mike:
It means that you aren't gay but you like to do certain things that might be considered gay. [they all stare at him, looking totally clueless and in shock] Right?

Sean:
No, asshole. He doesn't know what the hell he's talkin' about. Look, a metrosexual is like a straight guy who happens to you know, also like to go shoppin' and-- and get facials and stuff.

Tommy:
Holy shit.

Chief Reilly:
Shoppin' for food?

Mike:
Nice food.

Sean:
Yeah, and wine, and... clothes. Yeah, I'm not explaining it right. Franco you know what a metrosexual is, right?

Franco:
Uh, that would be a huge goddamn 'no'.

Sean:
It's not like a gay thing...

Mike:
It's gay and it's not gay. It's like straight, regular guys who get like facelifts and bikini waxes.

Chief Reilly:
Enough. Enough.

Mike:
Male bikini waxes.

Chief Reilly:
Enough! Nobody in this firehouse goes out and goes shoppin' anymore unless it's for underwear or for boots or for a pair of goddamn gloves. And nobody, and I mean nobody, goes and gets a facial unless that means putting water on your face to clean up after catchin' a job. And the word metrosexual from this point on is banned from this quarters. (walks out)

Lou:
What the hell's a male bikini wax?

Sean:
That's when they take the hair off of your scrotom.

Franco:
Ow.

Lou:
[in a pained voice] Why?

Mike:
Chicks dig it.

Franco:
Chicks dig us shaving our balls?