Rescue Me, Season 3

Bum:
[about who gets to commit suicide first] I'm homeless. I got nothin'! No friends, no family, my life is shit.

Lou:
My life is bigger shit. My wife whom I love dearly left me for another man. She broke my heart and then she took nearly everything I own. Yeah, and then I met another woman, beautiful, young, gorgeous... hooker but one of the good ones because-- because she didn't make me pay until the end. And then at the end she took every penny that I had on Earth. Then get this-- I'm in a porn store the other day and who do I see on the cover of a triple X but her. So, not only is she a thief and a hooker but she's a porn star. I'm a joke, I'm a loser, I look in the mirror and I wanna puke.

Bum:
Be my guest.

Lou:
Excuse me?

Bum:
You win, loser, you can go first.

Lou:
Thanks.